Sunday, August 31, 2014

A God of Equal Rights; A God of Love

This week I was at the Provo Temple with a friend attended a sealing 
session. The session happened to be officiated by a hilarious and
talkative sealer who took the time to pause and taught us the promise
blessings of the sealing ordinances and personal applications. 

He paused and indicated something
I’ve never noticed from the blessing of children being sealed to
parents. Due to the sacred nature of the ordinance, the best I can do
is summing up how the prayer specifically indicated identical
blessings for those who are sealed to their parents later on in life are
the same comparing to  those those who are born into the covenant. 

“He’s a loving Heavenly Father; a God of equal rights and a God of
love.” Said the wise sealer.

I WAS IN AWE...…

Coming from an interfaith family, I used to feel like the black sheep.
My circumstance has made a huge difference in my life than my
peers such as not being able to get baptized at the age of 8, my
father’s objection to attend BYU or serve a mission, the need of other
priesthood bearers offering priesthood blessings, etc…. It’s really
hard on me as a kid. 

Two weeks ago, I got to share a related experience attending Church
in Heber City, Utah as the teacher struggled with the same sense of
inadequacy. I struggled through my first transfer on my
mission realizing I had a hard time bearing witness and teaching
eternal family because I wasn’t in one. I felt really ashamed standing
in the shadow of the Salt Lake Temple and just had the most
inadequate feeling. I prayed frequently and studied fervently hoping I
could gain a testimony of eternal marriage before having my own.

It wasn’t necessary what I studied but the connections and
associations I was making that eventually connected the dots.
Gradually, I realized it didn’t matter what stages we were at in the
plan of salvation; what matter was that we were progressing, even
one step towards Christ. That I could bear witness of because I knew
and have felt the unconditionally love of God and the power of the
atonement. 

Instead of sharing my own family stories, I began to talk about my
aspiration and hope of one day obtaining the blessings of having an
eternal family of my own. 

That’s why I still feel strongly about this topic and often speak up in
any Church settings. It isn’t because I am radical or against temple
marriage but my “allergic reaction” towards judgmental and shaming
attitude towards our fellow children of God who perhaps progress at a
different pace or choose differently. 

I am grateful for my mother’s sacrifices and faithfulness even when
other members trying to take over her job being my mother just
because they’ve been married in the temple. Although we are not
sealed as a family, I know Heavenly Father loves us and knows our
circumstances perfectly to sort this out one day. Before that, I am
banking on my faith in Him trusting things will work out as He has my
best interest. That’s what faith is all about, right?

K.D. 




Friday, August 15, 2014

Is Suicide A Choice?

Reading about the death of Robin Williams was difficult. Patch 
Adams, Good Will Hunting are movies that inspire me to practice
counseling. He was an outstanding actor and his performance has
touched the hearts of many. 

But today I read a Christian blogger’s post with a title like this.
“Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease; it was his choice.”

I was furious beyond measure, not just for the heartless discussion on
depression and suicide but also the insensitive comment shaming and
blaming those tho struggle with mental illness. 

So here I am.
I want to talk about the unspeakable.

As Mormons we often speak if the idea of agency. It is true that
God has given us this precious gift, coupled with the atonement for
our learning and progression. Volunteering with minorities for the past
year has led me to a new understanding of agency, a difficult one. 

What if we don’t know or can’t see all the options that are available?

I’ll give you a real example.
Few months back, I was dealing with a troubling situation. At first, I
thought I was doing okay to handle it by myself but I was in trouble.
Whenever I was in the environment with the the people who hurt me
and caused the whole incident, I began to be very anxious. I had
nightmares. I had flashbacks. I would sweat like if I were in the gym
and shivered. (classic PTSD)

I was absolutely scared and felt hopeless. It was a very dark place
and I couldn’t get out.

Thanks to the support of great friends, I recognized those red flags
myself and I sought help. Some in the position to help moved me out
of the situation immediately. Some offered a safe space to talk and
cry. Some comforted me with kind words of hope. Some fed me
chocolate and ice-cream.

Had I always seen a way out?
NO! 
I would have never survive this rough time without the help of all
those who stood with me and bore my burden.

Now let’s talk about suicide.
Do people have a choice clearing knowing they are choosing to end
their life?

I don’t know and neither do you.
That’s why I am very thankful for a merciful God who judges us and a
Savior who stands as an advocate with the Father. (D&C 45:3)
What goes on in the mind of someone who struggles with mental
health is complex. 

While we don’t encourage people to choose suicide as a way out,
let’s do something that you and I can do.

Let’s take out the stereotypes, the stigma, the judgement, the
insensitivity that are preventing them to see.
Let’s be supportive and encouraging for those who fear to seek help.

Is suicide a choice?
I don’t know.
All I know is that suicide is a tragedy.



To the men who inspired me to be an empathetic counselor.















K.D.