Monday, January 27, 2014

I AM ENOUGH!!!!

Psshhas been my response for people asking me what my new
year resolution is but somehow I have managed to figure one out.

I am going to love me for who I am.

Too many times I have been told I am too _________ in my life.

Recently, a male leader in my ward told me that I was too educated,
too career advanced, and too bright to be corrected by him. I don’t
want to dig too deep into what his implications are and I am very
well aware of my imperfections. That got me thinking of the other
too ______ incidents. Sometimes it was said at the end of a
relationship when I was told he loved me but I was too XYZ for
him. Sometimes it was in class when I was told being too
aggressive, too good.

This needs to be changed.

Remember the parable of talents? All the master has asked for is a
report of how his servants have utilized their talents. Of all the people on
this planet, I know and am accountable for the talents and skills I have
been entrusted. While the Lords will has led me to this point with a
graduate degree and working with some of the best people on the
earth in my young age, I am happy with where I am at.

It isnt too ________; it is just right.

Surely if you want to pick on what I am not comparing to the popular
gender norm, I am not a lot of things. I am not marriedI am not
underweightI am not very feminineI am not ……. whatever..

One thing Ive been learning in the past year is learning to accept and
love myself, even my flaws and weaknesses. It motivates me to be better,
and strive harder while encountering challenges. It changes my whole
world view and it simply makes me happier.

I love talking to one of my friends who always reminds me who I am
even after we have teased each other with every single possible
joke and bet on anything we've played. Without cease, he ensures I
know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am enough, and then we
go on with our amusing conversations.

I may not have control of how others perceive me but I do have
control on how I see myself. I will pursue my dreams and follow my
path wherever it may take me.

I am not perfect but I am enough.

I am going to love me for who I am.

Why?


Because who's better than me to do that??

K.D.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Law of Chastity: It’s about Love


The missionaries desperately urged on the other end of the phone.
“Danise, can you please come? We need your testimony of the law 
of chastity.” I bursted out laughing with a witty thought in mind 
thinking they may change their minds when they hear what I ha
to say.

Not too long into the lesson, I knew why the missionaries needed help. 
The sweet little investigator posted a really good argument: sex is 
essential in a romantic relationship and she thought it was great 
when both parties consent to the degree of intimacy as the relationship 
matured.

I smiled because I found a common language that would help us 
understand each other — love.

The law of chastity is more than mastering our ability to manage the 
procreation power. In the Family Proclamation, it clearly states that 
physical intimacy is also an expression of love between husband and wife. 
Among other essences like friendship, respect, self-discipline, time, and 
understanding, physical attraction/romance is also critically essential in a
relationship (Elder Bruce C. Hafen, The Gospel and Romantic Love). What 
does sexual purity mean? Why keeping ourselves morally clean is so 
important before and after marriage?

Notice I say after marriage too because I don’t believe that chastity simply 
means no premarital sex. It is a lifetime, eternal commitment for us to remain
pure and
virtuous in our thoughts, words, and action. It is a commitment 
of love and let’s talk about why it is about love.

1.     It is a love of God to keep His commandments. Simple is that. He wants us to
be free from additions and harm’s way and He has given us commandments
teaching us to stay away from unnecessary or avoidable sorrow. He has also
promised us that we are entitled to the protection and constant
companionship of Holy Ghost when we remain morally clean.


2.     When we love ourselves, we treat our mind and body well just like we try
eating healthy and exercising to stay fit. It makes us feel great. The same
goes along with sexual purity. We honestly express affection that is within the
limit of the commandment and never treat intimacy as a commodity. We
respect ourselves and honour our commitment and choices in relationships.


3.     It is also an act of love to respect our love interest/spouse. Physical attraction
and intimacy can be a very powerful feeling that overpowers other critical
abilities like thinking straight and understanding each other. Progress
gradually within the protection of the commandment.  What a loving and
honorable act to put each other’s welfare before our own gratification.


In the end, we smiled and I ended with my own testimony and conviction of the
law of chastity. Love isn’t convenient or cheap. It is the enabling power allowing
you and I to be like God, to care for and love others beyond our own natural
ability. The law of chastity is a guiding principle of love and I am truly grateful for
it even though I haven’t fully comprehended the promise blessings.


K.D.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Is there a need to address the leaders in the Church on the issue of same-sex marriage? YES!!

This is not the first time the LDS Church published official statement on same sex marriage/gay & lesbian issues. However, this special instruction that has published in 10 Jan 2014 is especially for the leaders of the LDS church.

I believe that everyone is a leader in the Church. However, I urge those who have more opportunities to speak in church meetings (such as, sacrament meeting speakers, teachers/instructors of Sunday School, Seminary, Institute, Auxiliary classes etc.) to take heed to the words in this official statement and do not put too much of your personal opinion on this matter. The reason I said this is because…I had a terrible experience in class the other day.

Before I share my experience, let’s talk about the wording use of same-sex/homosexual/homosexuality/gay/lesbian in Chinese. In Chinese, we use the word “同性(same-sex) (love/to feel attached to)”. It is a bit over-generalizing and vague to describe the complexity of same-sex marriage/homosexuality. Because of taboos and traditional thinking, when Chinese heard this word (regardless of the situations), most of people feel disgusted and related their thinking to AIDS, diseases, demon… whatever weird thing you can think of which makes it even worse.

It was a Sunday School class, the teacher made an over-generalizing statement that homosexual/gay/lesbian = breaking the law of chastity. With the vague Chinese interpretation of the term, I suggested that the teacher needed to clarify her explanation. My point is: by saying “同性戀” (the over-generalizing tern for homosexual/gay/lesbian) in Chinese, it doesn’t mean that that person is violating the law of chastity. She further said that she loves her friends who are attracted to the same sex. However, she requested them to dress appropriately according to his/her sex to show respect to her. I believe she is not the only who say similar thing to the congregation. There are times that personal opinions are welcomed, but there are also times that true doctrine and the Gospel of Christ needed to be taught.

Instead of rebutting her, I think the best way is to hear what our prophets say on this issue, and learn from their preaching and understanding of God’s plan.

President Hinckley, General Confernece, Oct 1998:
My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are.

And there are many resources out there to help us and others to understand this issue

It may sound contradictory to stand for our belief on traditional marriage and love those who choose and act differently, but actually it is not that complex. Let us remember, Christ taught us not to cast stone to the woman who committed adultery. I challenge you to ponder the meaning of this story and how it relates to us and the whole issue of same-sex marriage.

G.K.