Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Heavenly Gift--- Agency

2013 Christmas, I am grateful for the heavenly gift, agency.

Sitting on a wall of the famous fortress, I looked at the old Macau,
a slum contrasting the apparent glamorous new casinos. I thought
of the meaning of life, justice, and blessings of the gospel. Over the
course of the weekend, different events and discussions led me
back to the subject of agency and God’s love. I wish to share my
thoughts with you as I conclude the adventurous 2013.

I never really quite grasp the concept of agency and God’s love 
until nearly half way through my mission. During my time in
Kingman, Arizona, I came to know a courageous woman who
valiantly faced her past and strived towards her reactivity in the
Church. It was not an ordinary process as revealing her past to
Priesthood leaders including her father as part of the repentance
process. There were moments when we attempted to quit. There
were afternoons when we shared with each other the darkest days
of our lives and rejoiced in the healing power of the atonement.
But I didn’t comprehend the concept of agency until I saw the face
of her father.

I was sitting next to her when she was finally able to partake of the
sacrament with her full membership status. We silently proceed as
a deacon passed us the tray. Gratitude filled my heart and I had
gained a strange sense of appreciation for difficult trials in my life
because that brought us together. When I looked up to the stand
where her father sat, he was smiling, very emotional, gazing at his
daughter. His countenance was full of love, happiness, and peace.

Four years later, that resemblance of a kind Heavenly Father still
vividly reminds me of the true meaning of agency and love. It takes
infinite love to allow someone you care and love deeply to choose
because that rises uncertainty and mistakes but that is the beauty
of the Savior’s plan. We learn and grow from our choices and
constantly exercise the atonement to correct our course. This is my
belief and the sacred right that I safeguard for myself and for those
I have stewardship over.  

In this special time celebrating the birth of our Savior, may we
extend our Savior’s unwavering love to our brothers and sisters
who have chosen differently.

Merry Christmas!

K.D. 



Thursday, December 19, 2013

Sexist Slurs Aren't Funny. Stop It!

Look!
What you say about women and how you treat us tells me more
about you than tells me more about myself. There have been far
too many people before you who try to convince me that I was
born secondary and meant to follow only because I am a
woman. Honestly, I think it is very disrespectful, absurd, and a
complete mockery to the priesthood power and authority that
you hold. But frankly, it doesn't bother me because
I know who I am.

What you say and do in fact insinuate how you treat the women
in your life. Your word and deed hurts them far more than it
hurts me because I can happily walk out of any doors and
possibly never see you again. So by all means you have every
right to say whatever you want but you are not putting me on
the line but only women whom you care about. So think wisely
on what you will say.

PS:

I woke up on a fine Saturday with this speech in my
mind. Perhaps I know that I can’t always punch every face that
utters these types of intruding comments and there will always
be many more. My life is not a wackamole and I honestly care
more about the good that I can do. 

K.D.

Monday, December 16, 2013

I haven’t seen you at Church today. Are you going to apostate?

Recently I had a chat with a friend and we talked about the meaning of being active in the Church. Our conclusion simply goes like this: if you miss going to Church for one or two Sunday, most people have the conclusion in their thought that you are probably going apostate or making some mistakes in life and being inactive.

Before I go on what I want to say, let me simply state that my friend and I both love the gospel and still consider ourselves active. The reason we reach to such a conclusion is that we are facing different situations and we are both hearing people implicitly/explicitly telling us that “sisters, you gotta be more active in the church!”

My friend’s job nature requires her to work on Sunday. Most of you will probably say “well, she should just find a job that doesn't need her to work on Sunday. She needs more faith.” Right, maybe you are right, but let us assume that she has done all her best in dealing with this situation and she still loves the gospel wholeheartedly. Because of her job nature, she goes to church occasionally. She told me that because of that, she has been contacted by her bishop, visiting teachers, and friends at church. Some contacted her because they truly care;, some contacted her because they are noisy and they just want know what’s happening in her life that causes her not showing up during the three hours Sunday services. She shared with me that sometimes church members’ concern are quite irritating, in a way that they just assume she is going astray. Also, she said that if these people are truly her friends, they would have not just only concern the reason she didn’t show up during the three hours of Sunday services, but instead, care about her life, her everyday life. It seems to her that, people only feel comfortable or right if they can see her during those three hours of Sunday services and neglect other aspects of someone’s life. By saying this, people think that if you show up on Sunday for three hours, you are totally worthy, despite the possible fact that that person is just a Sunday Mormon.

Now, let’s talk about my situation. I now serve in the Stake Young Women organization. With that calling, I occasionally have to go to visit other wards or attend their ward conferences. Believe it or not, I have people come up to me, with their worrying voice, asking me where I have been on those Sundays. I even have someone come up to me, jokingly saying “are you going inactive now?” Honestly, what’s the point of saying such thing? First, I am not obligated to report my schedule to anyone. Second, what you said to me will not help me if I am really going inactive.

What if someone who is having a hard time in their life, haven’t been to church for a while, and just want to come to church for be spiritual uplifted? , We go ask them that “why you haven’t been to church, is there any problem? Are you going inactive?”…etc. we need to be really careful and be kind when interacting with them. And PLEASE, don’t assume anyone who is not going to church during that 3-hour block is a sinner and that they are going to apostate. Those who are attending the 3-hour-block church services are not in a better position of those who do not. Let us be more kind to one another other and not to make assumptions on each other. Isn't it better to just ask “how are you?” instead?

G.K.

Friday, December 6, 2013

“You just remember who the enemy is”












After sobbing through the movie, Catching Fire, I
stumbled out the narrow isle of the theater with blurry
eyesight with Haymitch’s voice echoing in my mind. “You just
remember who the enemy is.”

I thought of a reoccurring theme I felt some Sunday when I was
trying very hard to learn and feel the spirit in church service.
One sister said that she felt she was more fortunate and
happier than others because she had the gospel in her life.
Another teacher taught people struggling with same-gender
attraction were nurtured that way and it should be corrected.
 
Ironically, those flashbacks were insinuated at the scene when
Plutarch Heavensbee pacifying President Snow. Snow was
concerned that all the tributes were raising their hands
unifying together at the interview but Plutarch quickly said
that they would all return to hunting each other in the arena
following the rules of the game as soon as the gong rang. Isn’t
it exactly what some of us are doing when our conversion
turns into a competition comparing timing, blessings, and
condemning each other’s imperfection?

My heart aches every time when similar statements are
camouflaged and preached as gospel truth. In the plan of
salvation, our enemy is not and will never be our fellow
brothers and sisters regardless of what faith and values they
have chosen to abide with. Our devotion and commitment of
discipleship does not put us anymore cherished nor favorable
in our Father’s eyes than any nonbelievers.   

Remember the vision of tree of life? Who were those that
were pointing their fingers, teasing and taunting others? How
did the believers response? They were focused and held on to
the iron rod then persistently pressing forward. After partaking
of the fruit, they invited others to join them rather than
terrorizing them for their current standing.

The Master Himself has reached out to the social outcast (tax
collector, woman committed adultery, individuals possessed by
spirit or suffered from physically challenged, etc……)
demonstrating unconditionally love and compassion. May we
all emulate the Savior’s example and increase our love and
ability to accept differences.


Just remember, who the real enemy is in this plan.    

K.D. 

Monday, December 2, 2013

Have you ever felt you are obligated to attend church activities?

I can’t remember since when I started to think that I am obligated to attend church activities and I also can’t remember when I started to realize this is a stinky idea.

I don’t understand why people have to feel “sorry” because they cannot attend certain activities. When does “attending church activities” become an obligation to church member, to a point that they have to feel sorry because they can’t attend?

I understand that church activities are meant to gather church members and provide a channel for non-members to get to know the church. But, does it necessary to plan every single details of an activity related to the gospel? I have heard of YSA dance with Joshua 1:9 as the theme and Halloween party with spirit world as the theme… I mean, these are good intention, but can’t a dance party just be a dance party? And a Halloween party just be a Halloween party? When I was in school in Hawaii, a church-organized (ward-organized) beach party is simply a beach party. A YSA dance is just simply a dance party. Can’t people just keep it simple? Don’t get me wrong, I strongly recommend you all to attend sacrament meetings, firesides and devotionals, where they focus on the Gospel and Christ. For leisure-type activities, please take it easy and have FUN.

I don’t understand why people always ask those who did not attend an activity this question, “I didn’t see you at that activity, what happened? Why didn’t you come?” Seriously? Do you really “care” that I didn’t attend that particular activity? I don’t think so. Some people ask this question with a good intention but others ask this question out of being noisy. Yes, they just want to know why you don’t support church activity. They assume that you are on the road to less-active, especially when you did not attend that spiritual dance party!

My friend told me that she tries her best to attend every single activity to show support and felt bad if she missed one. Please don’t let church activity stress you out. First, no one is obligated and second, no one should feel sorry for not going. Go to activities that really interested you. Don’t feel sorry that you miss one. Those activities organizers should not make people feel they “need” to attend. When I am willing, I enjoy. When I am not willing, I suffer. Take it easy. 

G.K.